“It’s good to be in love.
It really does suit you
Just like everything.
I’m happy you’re in love,
‘Cause every color goes where you do”
I haven’t fallen in love yet. No great feeling of desire and heartfelt affection towards anyone in my life.
When I was younger my peers would hold hands and sneak kisses behind the school buildings and whisper “I love you” to each other. And as the years went on, they would say those three words less and less to the ones they were with. Growing up made them understand the true weight of those words.
I was never one those people. I grew up with no real relationship or person by my side. I’ve had few “boyfriends”. Well, if they could be called boyfriends, considering we never went on dates and only saw each other during school hours. And even then, I stopped those relationships when I was 14, realizing the silliness of the whole situation.
It wasn’t until recently that I had met somebody that has made a dent in the walls that I built up against those boys growing up. He made it through my carefully constructed walls and left his mark. He was never more than a passing figure. Nothing truly ever happened for him to rip apart my walls. I think of him with fondness, anger, hatred, resentment, and sadness. Of what shouldn’t have been, what it could’ve been, what it wouldn’t have been.
Now all I have in my heart is my love of coffee, books, and British accents. Family and friends are without saying.